“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I am struggling as I write this post. It’s amazing how quickly we can be humbled. I have a problem with looking at the lives of others and wishing I had what they have. Whether they had just bought a house, or had been promoted, if I felt they had anything that was missing from my life I was jealous. Don’t get me wrong, I was truly thrilled for them, but I was selfish and I hurt for myself.
Tonight God reminded me that He has an individual plan for each of us. That I am not to want to path He has given to someone else, only the path He has put me on. A very sweet woman announced today that she was pregnant, but she had a miscarriage. I have admired and envied her since we were little girls. Her life always seemed so easy, so beautiful. She was physically pretty, and she had a lot of fun things. As we got older her beauty grew and she married a wonderful, caring man. I saw all the fun trips they took, and the things they purchased, and I envied them.
I felt like I was punched in the stomach when I found out about her miscarriage. Immediately the question came into my mind: why would God let me keep my baby but take hers away? I don’t ask this out of fear of Him taking my baby. I truly believe I will be holding her in just about 20 weeks. But I don’t understand what I did to deserve her when I have so many wonderful friends who have lost children.
At that thought I felt as though God was whispering in my ear that I did nothing to deserve her, just as my friends did nothing to lose their child. It is just His plan. Though it hurts, He has a greater good in mind. And just as quietly as he whispered this truth, he whispered another: “I have a plan for you. Don’t compare your life with anyone else’s. I have chosen this path for you. You will encounter your own pains and your own joys. Just be content with the life I’ve given you. Live that life for Me and you will have everything you need.”
I sit here and my heart breaks for my friend. But I take comfort in the fact that she is comforted by God’s promises. We both know she will some day meet her baby in Heaven. We may never understand why her baby didn’t survive, but we know to trust God and to allow Him to lead us down any path He chooses.