This morning I came to a heart wrenching conclusion. My husband and I have spent a lot of time stressing about work. As we begin to take steps on a path that we are certain God placed us on, we got focused on the numbers. I was reading a book by a friend this morning, and through it realized just how far away I was from God. I couldn't believe it! Just two weeks ago I was wrapped up in Him, but today I could see he was about a mile away.
How could this happen? We have been trying so hard, and working so diligently on the plans He placed in our hearts. Oh...I guess that's how it happened. We got caught up in the plans and goals that we forgot to focus on the planner!
Later in the morning Aria demonstrated how easy that was. Aria was following me from room to room. She had followed me through the dining room, into a hallway, then back through the dining room into the kitchen, and finally back through the dining room to the living room. I could tell she was getting tired from the chase so I sat down in the living room and cheered her on, so she could see how far she had left to go.
At my cheering her fatigue seemed to disappear and she smiled with determination as she began to crawl faster. She got about three crawls away from me, and she spotted her toy beside her. She stopped, distracted by the immediate fun, turned and grabbed the toy.
At seeing this I realized it was exactly what I had done. I started after God, following Him in my health and our family's future, but I got tired while chasing after Him. I got distracted by immediate satisfaction, money and food/laziness...maybe not laziness exactly, but at least using exercise time to take care of other things.
So today I cast aside the temporary fun and focus on the only giver of true joy! I am fixing my eyes on him and beginning to walk His direction.