Thursday, August 16, 2012

Confessions and Celebrations

This week has been really crazy. We spent the weekend visiting my mother in Tulsa. Needless to say, I didn’t stay on track with my diet. I ate way more than I should have, but  I tracked and new what I was doing. I just figured I would use most of my weekly points on Saturday, and then do well the rest of the week.
Saturday night we went swimming, and it was BEAUTIFUL outside. The breeze actually made us feel a little cool in the pool. When Aria was finished swimming (meaning we felt she was getting cool), my husband, sister and I spent some time chatting in the hot tub. It was the first time I was in a hot tub in nearly TWO YEARS!!! It was WONDERFUL!
Then came Sunday. I stayed on track points wise on Sunday, but it started a spiral that I wasn’t prepared for. Aria was a little grumpy Sunday morning, and we thought it was just her gums (we are right on the verge of her first tooth). We tried to give her something for the pain in the afternoon, and she got sick…like REALLY sick. To make an incredibly long story shorter, Aria was sick all night, and all day Monday. And, my husband wasn’t feeling well Monday as well (completely unrelated illnesses). This meant I was running around the house trying to take care of two people.
Through all of the madness I stayed on track, until Tuesday. As my husband left for work he remembered that he had a monthly meeting that night, which meant he wouldn’t be home until very late. I was exhausted from taking care of the sickies the day before and getting very little sleep, so this news left me sad. I am so proud of my husband for working so diligently to provide for our family and prepare for our future, and it was completely selfish of me to be anything but proud of him for going to the meeting.
After he left for work things got a little better as Aria was nearly back to normal. Her illness was just a bad case of allergies, thankfully. But, by the end of the day her allergies were bothering her, as well as her gums. She didn’t nap well through the day, and was VERY fussy because she hadn’t seen her father all day, so when she fell asleep that evening I was very quick to cook myself dinner. I measured out exactly what I was supposed to have…ate it…and then went back to finish what I made! UGH!!!!
 I don’t think I can make an emoticon as sad, or embarrassed as I feel. I nearly cried when I realized what I had done! I know better than to turn to food for emotional validation. I felt so guilty. I confessed later to my husband, nearly crying. So, this is my confession. This week has not really been that successful. I guess, overall I didn’t eat many more than my weekly points, but I am still disappointed in myself.
I guess I knew that I would eventually go off track, and I am proud that I realized it, and can correct it. Yesterday I stayed on point, and today I will to. I am prepared for whatever the scale says tomorrow, and am not very optimistic. I promise to post whether I lose or gain tomorrow just as I usually would, despite how embarrassing it may be.
Now, to some good news: today is a VERY special day for me. Four years ago today I married my best friend. I am SO blessed to have an incredible husband. He is not only an amazing husband, but a wonderful provider, and an amazing father. I grow more in love with him every day, and am excited to spend many, MANY more years with him.
As a celebration of our anniversary we will be eating at the restaurant we ate at on our first date, our wedding day, and most of our anniversaries (our first anniversary we were in Mexico): Outback. I’ve already picked exactly what I’m having and am working around that to stay on point today. We’re even bringing the meal home to eat it, rather than eating in the restaurant, so I don’t have to be tempted by unlimited bread or an appetizer that I don’t want or need.

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